The Truth About Men and Depression

The Truth About Men & Depression - Cluff Counseling - Lewisville TherapistAlthough women are more likely to attempt suicide due to depression, men are 4x more likely to succeed. This means that the suicide rate is 4 x greater in men than in women! I believe that talking about and raising awareness about men and depression will hopefully set in motion some necessary changes to our societal stigmas.

Certain stigmas, in our society, have become widely believed despite the fact that they are inaccurate or untrue. Last month I addressed one of these in my blog post about women who face pornography addiction–in hopes to dispel the misnomer that men are by and large the ones to become porn addicts. This month, I wish to speak to another fallacy: that women are the main ones who face depression. Last May I wrote a general post on Depression entitled “Depression is Not a Life Sentence”, Today I want to build on that foundation and hone in on a more specific group suffering from depression: MEN.

There is a wonderful book by Terrence Real entitled, I Don’t Want to Talk About It which addresses this issue head on. I highly recommend reading it if you or a male loved one is battling depression. It is a compelling read uncovering the frightening fact that just as many men face depression as women, but only a fraction get help.  He writes about how these men battling depression often go undiagnosed because they do not want to tell others for fear of no one listening or of damaging their image.

The truth is that everyone feels sad or irritable and has trouble sleeping once in a while. But these feelings pass after a little while–usually a couple of days. Depression, on the other hand, is a common yet serious mood disorder that has symptoms that do not dissipate with time. Depression affects one’s ability to feel, think, and handle daily activities.  To be diagnosed as depression, these symptoms must be experienced for at least two weeks.

Signs and symptoms of depression in men

Just like with any illness or mental illness, there are a plethora of symptoms, but the common depression symptoms include the following:

  • Anger or irritability
  • Feeling anxious or restless
  • Loss of interest in work, family, or hobbies
  • Problems with sexual desire and performance
  • Feeling sad, empty, or hopeless
  • Difficulty concentrating or remembering details
  • Fatigue, not being able to sleep, and/or oversleeping
  • Overeating
  • Loss of appetite
  • Thoughts of suicide or suicide attempts
  • Physical aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems
  • Inability to meet the responsibilities of work, caring for family, or other important activities
  • Engaging in high-risk activities
  • A need for alcohol or drugs
  • Withdrawing from family and friends; isolation.

Every man will respond to his depressive feelings differently. Some may exhibit several of these behaviors while others may only experience a few.

Causes of depression in men


Current research suggests that depression is caused by a combination of risk factors including genetics, environmental stressors (like financial problems, loss of a loved on, major life changes, or any stressful situation), and illness (particularly serious illnesses like diabetes, cancer, heart disease or Parkinson’s disease). There is no difference with how men and women arrive at depression–it is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Studies suggest you are at greater risk of developing depression if you’ve suffered a severe loss as a child, an overwhelmingly stressful event as an adult, or you have a family history of depression.

Regardless of how one develops depression, men react differently than women.  When men experience depressive episodes, they retract completely from their social circles. One man reported that he did not want to get out of bed or leave the house, that his depression took over his life. He said, “Men are not supposed to be depressed. Men are supposed to be the providers, the pillar of strength, the one everyone else turns to. You can’t talk about it because…you don’t want to admit any weaknesses.” Men facing depression feel ashamed and embarrassed, which leads them to internalize their struggle with depression, close themselves off from others, and not seek professional help. This greatly affects their work performance, their relationships, as well as their self-image and self-worth. Many men who feel depressed enter into this negative cycle of denying/ignoring their symptoms, isolating themselves, experiencing diminished self-worth, and not receiving treatment. It is likely because of this that men are four times more likely to commit suicide than women!

Treatment for with depression

Now knowing that both men and women can experience depression, let’s talk about treatment. These suggestions are not gender specific. Such suggestions include spending time with friends, family, or coworkers; increasing your level of physical activity (particularly important for men who are supposed to be masculine and strong); breaking large tasks up into small ones; delaying important decisions until you feel better; keeping daily routines; and avoiding alcohol, drugs, or harmful substances. These are suggestions that will help if are not yet ready to receive professional help.

For those that have had enough and are ready to stand up to depression, here is my plea: Remember that help is available! To effectively treat depression, a combination of medication and therapy is recommended–regardless of gender.  If you are struggling with depression, it is okay to ask for help. I want to support you. I want to offer you hope! The amazing news is that researchers has proven that between talk therapy and medications, about 80 percent of depression cases can now be treated effectively–for both women and men! In reality, the risks of untreated depression far outweigh those of taking antidepressant medications under a doctor’s supervision. You do not need to carry the heavy burden of depression any longer. Please, contact me today or click here to schedule a session. You are not alone! Help is out there!

Melissa Cluff is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Lewisville, Texas, personally seeing clients in the North Dallas area.

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